The new book “101 Ways to Enhance Your Career” is now on Amazon! The book is a collaborative work featuring 101 writers. My Chapter is actually the very last one (#101)! 

It is thrilling to see my work in print. The chapter I wrote is advice for young women and it’s titled “Be Dumb, Be Fickle, Be Superficial”.

Here is the Amazon link: 101 Ways to Enhance Your Career

Work your Magic! - Len Sone's Kisses & Hearts Coaching

In 2011 be sure to work your magic! You have many talents and this is the year to make your dreams come true.

My coaching program can help you do that and much more. Looking forward to coaching you and helping you find your spirit!

<3 Len

Question: I want to become a certified Life Coach through your training program!

Answer:

Kisses&Hearts Coaching is not a certification program or school for becoming a life coach. I coach young women 1-on-1 and help them accomplish whatever goal they may have. Of course that goal may very well be to become a life coach, though so far my clients have all been interested in different career paths. However, K&H is branching out and it’s very possible that I will create exactly what you are interested in, a certification program for becoming a life coach, at some point. Not anytime soon though, sorry! (Unless I get hundreds of emails from young women begging me to create it and thus it becomes my priority!)

Meanwhile, there are many other certification programs. Googling is really the best way to find and compare them. They usually cost $800-$3,000. I want to point out that none of them are necessary (you don’t need a certification to be a life coach) and also none of them will provide you with your own clients, which is the hardest part of this profession. A good certification program will provide you with some coaching tools to use when you are working with clients, and some practice (this is usually done by pairing up members and letting them practice coaching each other). A good certification program should also help you come up with your own niche (i.e. what kind of clients do you want to work with?) and your own pricing.

The coaching certification programs might provide you with some general ideas about how to get clients, (to be honest, these ideas are things any average person would come up with). So getting clients is something that will be completely your responsibility as a self-employed entrepreneur. Most life coaches are like struggling actors. Just like even the best acting schools can only give you some skills but can’t give you a talent or a successful career, it’s the same with coaching certification programs. I want to make that point very clear because most people thinking about getting into coaching think it’s an easy path to money and clients or their own self-realization. They think they just need to get their certification and they will have arrived. Not even close! A certification is more like the starting point.

For this reason, if you do decide to do a certification program, figure out what you really want to get out of coaching and whether you have the passion to stay with it and find your own niche and clients. Life coaching can be an amazing career for those of us who are wise, brilliant, dedicated, and have found our own voice, but it is definitely NOT a quick path to money and clients.

For those of you reading this and who are interested in a K&H certification program, you can always shoot me an email. If I was to create such a  thing, it would be a huge undertaking. I’d have to write lesson plans, do group web seminars, provide 1-on-1 phone coaching, etc etc, and it would probably be priced  @ $800.

Kisses,

Len@KissesAndHearts.com

People often ask what the term even means, and how  they can know if they are exhibiting such behavior. Read on to find out my take on this monster ….

Passive-aggressive means that you first do something passive and then you do something aggressive.

In other words, first you do something you don’t want to do, then you do something hostile.

Let me give you an easy example first.

Your friend tells you to wash her dishes. If you wash the dishes even though you feel this was an unjust demand, and then later blow up at her for telling you to do it, your action is passive-aggressive.

A much better strategy is to neither be passive (you don’t wash her dishes in the first place) nor aggressive ( you don’t blow up at her).

It would be best for you to simply ask your friend right away why she expects you to wash her dishes. Then based on the response, you can decide whether you want to do it or not. You can say “No thank you”. Your friend may have miscommunicated and her request may make more sense, or you may realize your friend really wants to treat you badly and in that case, explain to her how you’d like to be treated! If she still treats you badly, stop being her friend.

Another point I want to make is that the aggressive part is sometimes more sneaky. An example would be you sleeping with your friend’s boyfriend instead of yelling at her. This is simply a much more extreme and unhealthy case of being passive-aggressive.
(Side note: when girls sleep with their friend’s boyfriend, it’s often because they feel inferior to the girlfriend in some way and really want to feel on equal footing.)

The “passive” part can also be more complex. An example of doing something you don’t want to do can be something like not getting enough hugs from your lover. The aggressive response would be to start pointless fights and be constantly critical. A much better approach would be to just tell him/her what you want and why, “I love cuddling with you! It makes me feel so loved. *open arms asking for a hug*”. Which girlfriend would you rather hug? Haha. Just say what you want! [By the way, this is an example from my own life, so you see I'm not without past blunders!]

Most people (both men and women) are passive-aggressive to some extent. They are afraid to say No, they keep disrespecting themselves, but then they find some way to get back at the other person and themselves.
The problem with this is that most of the time their interpretation was off anyway because the other person didn’t mean to hurt them. We tend to think others see us the way we see ourselves. And in extreme cases where the other person was intentionally hurtful, the conflict is calmer and shorter when dealt with the direct approach. Anger is actually not necessary since we can just contently decide to leave due to an incompatibility. (Although this is a topic for a lengthier discussion.)

Lastly I want to say that we have all been passive-aggressive at some point. We learn this strategy from our parents, other family members, peers and even teachers. Generally speaking, no one sits us down and gently says, “Ok hun, I am going to show you a better way to get what you want”.

Just examine your life for this pattern and see if you can be more aware and direct from now on. You’ll see your relationships becoming easier, lighter, and generally of better quality.

Kisses,

Len Sone

Terri Yeh

WINNER: Terri Yeh

AGE: 20

LOCATION: Berkeley, CA

OCCUPATION: College student

WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU WANT TO BE IN 5 YEARS? Travel and work in Europe

SOME ISSUES: Not passionate about her major, relationship problems, fitting in vs. not, self-esteem

I will probably narrow the selection down to 2 or 3 girls, and have a little phone interview with them to see who should win.

The winner will get 4 sessions (one every week) and unlimited email support during their free month.

REQUIREMENTS:

* you must be a female 18-25 years old

* you must have never worked with me before

* you must be available in September

* you must have a strong desire to work on your personal development

* you must be happy to promote K&H Coaching (by telling your friends and on your social networks)

* you should be comfortable sharing your story because your experience may be featured on this website!

Len’s email: Len@KissesAndHearts.com

Looking forward to reading all your emails!

you might notice that the site title has changed and that it now ends with “young women“. Indeed!

Over the course of these last two years I have coached all kinds of clients. All ages, all genders, it didn’t matter much to me because I can work with anyone. However, slowly but surely a feeling has emerged in me. I realized that the clients I’m most excited to work with are usually young women of ages 18-25 years old. That’s because I identify with them the most, being a young woman myself. Now in my late twenties (I’m about to turn 29 on August 7th, thank you!!), I remember that struggle of having to find my own place in the world with no one really to guide me or help me. I love being that guiding light for other young women.

So there it is.

Please spread the word. Tell young women in your life that I’m offering this service, that it will help them become empowered (confident, established, famous, drop dead gorgeous, all those things we women want)… and if you are a young woman, you need to know that I’m brilliant at what I do, and that I can help you get there. Where? That secret place you want to go in life that maybe no one knows yet because you don’t have the confidence to even speak the words. See, I know you. So come work with me.

Kisses,

Len

Here are the 3 questions to answer.

1. Who are you secretly jealous of?

2. What are you secretly afraid of?

3. What is your biggest obstacle?

These questions will open your mind to your innermost desires and weaknesses.

I am so excited to hear your answers!

Friends and lovers are great to have, but have you ever noticed that sometimes they are actually the least likely to see your greatness? They are too close to you, and they see you for who you are NOW. My job is to see you in the grandest vision so I can help you get there.

My question to you is: Who do you want to be in 1 year? In 5 years?

Invest in yourself. Even if money is tight. Come meet the person you want to be.

Kisses,

Len Sone