Some things have changed since I first wrote this blog post. I now generally work with young women 18-35.

My ideal client is someone who is introspective, reflective, sensitive, passionate, intelligent, and a clear speaker. Someone who thinks and feels deeply about things. Someone who would rather take a nice long walk or stay at home and read, then be in a loud place full of people. Someone who is soulful. Someone who has good grammar. Someone who often feels alone and lonely in the world. Someone who can’t stand aggressive people. Someone who daydreams a lot. Someone who has empathy.

If you are this person, then you simply must must must work with me for we are kindred spirits.

Thanks for reading!

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POST FROM 2010:

Dear readers,

you might notice that the site title has changed and that it now ends with “young women“. Indeed!

Over the course of these last two years I have coached all kinds of clients. All ages, all genders, it didn’t matter much to me because I can work with anyone. However, slowly but surely a feeling has emerged in me. I realized that the clients I’m most excited to work with are usually young women of ages 18-25 years old. That’s because I identify with them the most, being a young woman myself. I remember that struggle of having to find my own place in the world with no one really to guide me or help me. I love being that guiding light for other young women.

So there it is.

Please spread the word. Tell young women in your life that I’m offering this service, that it will help them become empowered (confident, established, famous, drop dead gorgeous, all those things we women want)… and if you are a young woman, you need to know that I’m brilliant at what I do, and that I can help you get there. Where? That secret place you want to go in life that maybe no one knows yet because you don’t have the confidence to even speak the words. See, I know you. So come work with me.

Kisses,

Len

The new book “101 Ways to Enhance Your Career” is now on Amazon! The book is a collaborative work featuring 101 writers. My Chapter is actually the very last one (#101)! 

It is thrilling to see my work in print. The chapter I wrote is advice for young women and it’s titled “Be Dumb, Be Fickle, Be Superficial”.

Here is the Amazon link: 101 Ways to Enhance Your Career

Work your Magic! - Len Sone's Kisses & Hearts Coaching

In 2011 be sure to work your magic! You have many talents and this is the year to make your dreams come true.

My coaching program can help you do that and much more. Looking forward to coaching you and helping you find your spirit!

<3 Len

First off, HAPPY HALLOWEEN everyone! Halloween is all about scary things, so I’d like to discuss one truly scary topic: being passive-aggressive!! Scared yet?

People often ask what the term even means, and how  they can know if they are exhibiting such behavior. Read on to find out my take on this monster ….

Passive-aggressive means that you first do something passive and then you do something aggressive.

In other words, first you do something you don’t want to do, then you do something hostile.

Let me give you an easy example first.

Your friend tells you to wash her dishes. If you wash the dishes even though you feel this was an unjust demand, and then later blow up at her for telling you to do it, your action is passive-aggressive.

A much better strategy is to neither be passive (you don’t wash her dishes in the first place) nor aggressive ( you don’t blow up at her).

It would be best for you to simply ask your friend right away why she expects you to wash her dishes. Then based on the response, you can decide whether you want to do it or not. You can say “No thank you”. Your friend may have miscommunicated and her request may make more sense, or you may realize your friend really wants to treat you badly and in that case, explain to her how you’d like to be treated! If she still treats you badly, stop being her friend.

Another point I want to make is that the aggressive part is sometimes more sneaky. An example would be you sleeping with your friend’s boyfriend instead of yelling at her. This is simply a much more extreme and unhealthy case of being passive-aggressive.
(Side note: when girls sleep with their friend’s boyfriend, it’s often because they feel inferior to the girlfriend in some way and really want to feel on equal footing.)

The “passive” part can also be more complex. An example of doing something you don’t want to do can be something like not getting enough hugs from your lover. The aggressive response would be to start pointless fights and be constantly critical. A much better approach would be to just tell him/her what you want and why, “I love cuddling with you! It makes me feel so loved. *open arms asking for a hug*”. Which girlfriend would you rather hug? Haha. Just say what you want! [By the way, this is an example from my own life, so you see I'm not without past blunders!]

Most people (both men and women) are passive-aggressive to some extent. They are afraid to say No, they keep disrespecting themselves, but then they find some way to get back at the other person and themselves.
The problem with this is that most of the time their interpretation was off anyway because the other person didn’t mean to hurt them. We tend to think others see us the way we see ourselves. And in extreme cases where the other person was intentionally hurtful, the conflict is calmer and shorter when dealt with the direct approach. Anger is actually not necessary since we can just contently decide to leave due to an incompatibility. (Although this is a topic for a lengthier discussion.)

Lastly I want to say that we have all been passive-aggressive at some point. We learn this strategy from our parents, other family members, peers and even teachers. Generally speaking, no one sits us down and gently says, “Ok hun, I am going to show you a better way to get what you want”.

Just examine your life for this pattern and see if you can be more aware and direct from now on. You’ll see your relationships becoming easier, lighter, and generally of better quality.

Kisses,

Len Sone

Terri Yeh

WINNER: Terri Yeh

AGE: 20

LOCATION: Berkeley, CA

OCCUPATION: College student

WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU WANT TO BE IN 5 YEARS? Travel and work in Europe

SOME ISSUES: Not passionate about her major, relationship problems, fitting in vs. not, self-esteem

August is a special month for me because of my birthday. I thought it would be exciting to offer one special girl an opportunity to have one month of free coaching with me. If this sounds exciting to you, you must email me telling me about yourself, why you should win and why you need/want to be coached. I’d like to know what issues you’d like to work on. Also include at least one picture of yourself. At the end of August I will select the winner and will personally work with this person in September!

I will probably narrow the selection down to 2 or 3 girls, and have a little phone interview with them to see who should win.

The winner will get 4 sessions (one every week) and unlimited email support during their free month.

REQUIREMENTS:

* you must be a female 18-25 years old

* you must have never worked with me before

* you must be available in September

* you must have a strong desire to work on your personal development

* you must be happy to promote K&H Coaching (by telling your friends and on your social networks)

* you should be comfortable sharing your story because your experience may be featured on this website!

Len’s email: Len@KissesAndHearts.com

Looking forward to reading all your emails!

You’re about to work with me and you’re wondering how to prepare.

Here are the 3 questions to answer.

1. Who are you secretly jealous of?

2. What are you secretly afraid of?

3. What is your biggest obstacle?

These questions will open your mind to your innermost desires and weaknesses.

I am so excited to hear your answers!

Do you often feel like you don’t really matter???

In this free 45-min introductory session, I will work with you personally and show you how to stop being ignored. We will ignite the Dreamer inside you and open the floodgates…

Learn 5 steps to VISIBILITY:
1. Passion 2. Compatibility 3. Self-Worth 4. Visualization 5. Success

The shame of feeling like a failure haunts many people. Do you feel stuck in your old limited way of seeing yourself? I’d like to help you get unstuck and rejoin the human community with a new sense of personal power and your life purpose.

This session will jump-start your Assertiveness Training.

Be appreciated & loved …heard in all your relationships …confident in any situation!

Sign-up for the free session:

Are you embarrassed about not being important enough?
Do you usually feel like you don’t really matter???

In this free 45-min introductory session, I will work with you personally and show you how to stop being ignored. We will ignite the Dreamer inside you and open the floodgates…

Learn 5 steps to VISIBILITY:
1. Passion 2. Compatibility 3. Self-Worth 4. Visualization 5. Success

The shame of feeling like a failure haunts many people. Do you feel stuck in your old limited way of seeing yourself? I’d like to help you get unstuck and rejoin the human community with a new sense of personal power and your life purpose.

This session will jump-start your Assertiveness Training.

Be appreciated & loved …heard in all your relationships …confident in any situation!

Sign-up for the free session by emailing me at Len@KissesAndHearts.com